Day 57, JP33

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[[[[What I Feel best about is having good times with Good friends.                                            I have turned my back on all of my friends over the years. I hated myself for it. Always for fear of being hurt.                                                                                                                      The best defense is a strong offence. this is how I have lived my life. protecting my feelings before I could be hurt. Not very peaceful though. Always  on guard. Nothing gets in. Lonely type of life.                                                                                                                       the truth is..  the pain is an indicator of something that I don’t want. Pivot. the joy or pleasure is also an indicator of what I do want.                                                                     Every time I did something new I would get really good really fast and then drop it to do the next things. Taking pride in the amount of things. Running every time I got hurt. I was always about being the best or winning. I Forgot how to have fun along the way. now I know better.]]]]

Well I covered most of this in the last entry, having said that, I do believe I now have a deeper understanding of the reasons why I behaved in this manner. I do know better now although that doesn’t mean I have always been able to put this knowledge into action. There is a big gap that exists between knowing what to do and actually doing it. There is an old saying that goes like this ” You can talk the talk but can you walk the walk?” It is so easy to tell people how to do something or to judge their walk. It has taken me many years to shut my mouth and let my actions speak for me, Walking the walk.

“It’s not who you are underneath but what you do that defines you” another Batman quote.  I would dive a little deeper on this one as I think the motive behind the actions means more than the actions themselves to the person performing them. To people on the outside they are just actions or events which are perceived from their point of view, Good or bad. On a more personal level I could do something nice for someone else out of spite and It would not serve me although they might be grateful.

The energy behind the motion means everything. For instance, If I were to help someone move out of obligation I would come to resent the person I was helping for putting me in that position and I would have only negative energy  to offer (complaining a lot etc). If I help someone move because I have the desire to be part of their move then I will feel grateful to be a part of the shared experience and I will have positive energy to share during the process (joking around etc.)

I have been making an effort to only do things that I want to do and to find new ways of looking at things I don’t want to do. The results have been substantial as there is value in every experience if I can see it from the right angle. The challenge is to find that angle, which often requires releasing some resistance beliefs that I have been holding for a long time. Everything in my life is experienced through the kaleidoscope of my beliefs so when I find something that I don’t like I understand that its because of my beliefs and not because of whatever has my attention.

Things and situations are neither good nor bad until I project my beliefs onto them and compare, The challenge is to question my own beliefs in an effort to see things for what they truly are.

Day 56, JP 32

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[[[[ Why do I feel compelled to overindulge?  Why do I feel the need to Finish? Why do I want to be the first one Finished? all of the time?                                                                         I am, Where I am and that’s ok! I am Where I am and I want it to be ok.  I am Where I am and that’s ok!                                                                                                                                    Compete only with myself.                                                                                                         What I’m doing doesn’t matter as much as who I’m doing it with. Life is more fun with friends. I don’t Want to be a lone ranger anymore.                                                               Move my core first, Walk with my hips. my arms and legs can take care of Themselves.    – It hurts when your family turn their back on you.                                                                      – It hurts even more when it’s your best friend. I Know, I did it my friends. Douchebag.]]]]

Ill start by saying that My family never turned their back on me, It was the other way around I was just to deep in my self pity to recognize it. I am not even sure if my friends ever had the chance to turn their backs on me either as I would usually beat them and anyone else to the punch.  The best defense is a strong offence Has been my way for a long time and in the arena of relationships that means cutting the cord before the other person has the chance to do it. I cant get hurt if I don’t give them the chance to hurt me. This mentality tells me that I was assuming the worst was going to happen each time I got close to someone and I am still working to ease that expectation and one day even expect the best.

I think I adopted the belief that getting too close to someone or something only led to the pain of having it taken away. So I put up walls and barriers and kept everyone at a safe distance out of fear that I would be hurt again. This fear has shaped who I was and has helped in shaping who I am. I became the asshole that was doing the hurting by pushing against the possibility of being hurt myself. Another example of how pushing against something only brings it closer.

When I was a boy, about five years old my father was taken away by police. This one event would shape my entire life because of the pain I felt as my whole world was torn apart. Until just a couple weeks ago I have not been able to look at a cop without feeling anger and resentment towards them and everything they stand for. I don’t feel as strongly now although I do feel most police are bullies with a gun and backup. At least I can see the person behind the uniform now and have a conversation with them without feeling deep seated resentment. That Pain I felt was something I was never able to deal with and after a while I learned to hide it instead of allowing it to heal.

Now as an adult I have been breaking down the walls, barriers, safety nets and masks that I spent a lifetime putting up to protect me because they actually buried and suffocated me. Welcome to my process, I have been trying to figure this stuff out for many years and now I feel I am making steady progress by taking baby steps and putting forth a consistent effort day to day.  Go With the Flow

 

 

 

Day 55, JP31, Live and let live

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[[[[ I’m stoked for Paintball, Battlefield 4 and snowboarding.        there is a big difference in looking for something or just looking.  Controlled breathing is in the abdomen. Emotional breathing is in the chest.               I Will Find only what I bring with me – Yoda    I teach self-empowerment.  The essence of that which is like unto itself is drawn – The law of attraction.    Pivot – I know what I don’t want-What do I Want?      Wanting and believing is alignment. I would Rather feel good than be right. Find peace with my current situation in order to allow my boat to float Downstream towards the manifestations that I desire.   Be at peace.]]]]]

First off, I moved my desk around so I have more clear desk space which has resulted in the clearer picture although its at a bit of an angle. It sure is nice having Open space to work with, it feels like I can stretch out .

This page looks like a summary of the lessons I was trying to learn at the time and some that I still am. There are a lot of headlines on this page without a lot of substance which I think does a pretty good job of describing who I was at the time. The actual difference between looking for something specific and just looking is in the field of view and focus. While looking for something specific I can easily overlook so many other things that would be just as good. I have learned and been reminded so many times to zoom out at take a look at the bigger picture as it offers a very different perspective on things.

Controlled breathing vs emotional breathing, I think I got this from another movie “the incredible hulk” where Bruce banner(the Hulk) is searching for ways to control his anger is learns to control his breathing in an effort to control his emotions. This works for me if I get worked up and my chest gets tight I have practiced breathing with my diaphragm ( I am no master) which allows me to steady my breath and my nerves follow suit.

If I had a mentor It would be Yoda. There is so much wisdom that comes from Yoda and the way he delivers it requires a calm mind to understand it. A mind not at peace will find Yoda irritating and obnoxious. Yoda or the “Idea of Yoda” teaches that a calm and clear mind can feel its way through life. Feel the force as your eyes and ears can deceive you but your feelings will guide you. In some ways I see myself as a jedi Padawan learning the ways of the force(universe/source) and how to use my feelings as my guide.

I would like to teach self-empowerment one day through my own example as I learn to be self-empowered. Self-empowered? Meaning what? To be unaffected by the power struggle of others, To take responsibility for how I feel regardless of my situation. This is a work in progress.

The law of attraction. I visualize it like this: We are all magnets with our own personal polarity and we are attracting other magnets that match. So If I do not like the magnets that are showing up It’s on me to change my polarity and ignore the magnets that are here now as once my polarity changes they will no longer be drawn to me.

Pivoting is a powerful and simply tool that I used more often when I was really unhappy with things. The Idea is that while focusing on something that I do not want I will feel bad so I recognize this fact and choose to pivot. I say to myself “This is what I don’t want, What do I want?” this simple question will take me from thinking about what I don’t want o thinking about what I do want which will feel better.  For example: I know I don’t want to have dry, itchy skin because I have had it for what feels like an eternity, What do I want? I want to have nice smooth skin that feels good to the touch. This tool of pivoting is very helpful in finding relief in the moment, its not going to change the belief that is creating the resistance responsible for my dry skin but it will provide momentary relief which makes the dry skin more bearable.

My last entry ended on a bit of a low note as I came to realize that I have been holding a defeated/ defeatist attitude for a while. I haven’t straightened it out yet but I have been having success on a daily basis with finding relief from my resistance and finding more peace within myself which is a win. I have kept up with my blog for fifty-five days (not consecutive as I have taken a day off here and there) which is a win for me. I am Discovering my inner strength and learning to express myself in a constructive manner which Is a win.

I think that I have come to have low expectations for winning when competing against others which might be the result of my changing priorities. As I have placed more value on laughing and less value on crushing the opposition my win-loss ratio has certainly suffered. My pleasure has increased substantially in my efforts to enjoy the journey more than just the finish line.  I only feel like a failure when I judge myself by materialistic standards and that idea of what success is. So then What is success? how do I define being successful? and why? Is there any value to achieving success at all?

I wonder if  the sensation of success is only really felt in the moment which must be true because this moment is all I have. Then the feeling of success is based upon my perspective of my experience right now. The habit I have developed it to look outwards at my collection of things to judge my success and thus the accumulation of trophies and gadgets and stuff becomes valuable. By this method my success is determined by my attachment to material objects and illusions of power. The feeling of success based on these principles puts me in a constant pissing contest with the rest of the world because to continually have this feeling of success I have to gather more and more things to maintain my status and feel successful.

It should be no surprise that I would feel unsuccessful as I own very little material wealth and have been minimalizing the possessions that I carry around with me. By the commonly accepted idea of success I am a complete failure because I have turned my back to material wealth and status by attachment. The reason I sometimes feel bad about this is the result of my own belief in regards to success or rather the lack of my own conviction in my idea of success. What is my idea of success?

If my idea of success was different from the common one then I would see so many people as failures and myself as perhaps one of the few successful people. In order for my idea of success to feel good It has to be inward facing so as to not judge everyone else on my criteria. I want success to feel good and not at the cost of others feeling bad. I want to remove the competition from my idea of success. What if success is feeling good and feeling good is success?  Can I make it that simple? It feels good, so why not. “Make it so Number one” “aye aye Captain”.

From this moment forward, Success is now based on how good I feel in the moment. I will have moments when I am faced with a very strong opposing view on this idea and my Simple view that feels good will easily withstand the barrage of hate. People will resent my idea of success because it places zero value on all of there acquired stuff which if they judge themselves from my point of view they will see themselves as worthless and they wont like it. The trick here is that I don’t judge people based on my ideas and beliefs, I am happy to let each person decide for themselves how they want to live their lives.

Live and let live.(quoted from somewhere but fits this moment perfectly)

Day 54, JP 30, Defeated

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[[[[ What tomorrow brings is a mystery Which only time will Reveal. I do Know that I Will Face the mystery With love in my heart and hope on my lips. For I crave the excitement of not-knowing.

There comes a time in each of our lives when the structures and rules that once supported and protected us become shackles that bind us.

I Would Rather be happy than right. I Would Rather have fun than win.]]]]

This is a very optimistic point of view as not-knowing can be either terrifying or exciting depending on my perspective. What I mean is that If I expect bad things to happen then not-knowing will be scary and I will be fearful and anxious whereas if I am optimistic and expect good things then I will be filled with hope and excitement for the unknown future. My state of mind in this moment determines how I feel about the future which means that this moment matters more than the unknown future does and I should focus on feeling good now instead of guessing what the future has in store for me.

“There comes a time in each of our lives when the structures and rules that once supported and protected us become the shackles that bind us” Pretty sure Jim Gordon said this in the movie “The Dark Knight Rises”. This statement and so many things from the Dark knight trilogy Resonate  deeply with my own experiences in life. This particular statement resonates in regards to the mental walls that I built to shield myself from pain which eventually became the walls that limit my ability to feel joy as well.

If my life is reflected through the Batman trilogy then I feel like I am in the Third stage of my story. The first stage involved the trauma which shaped who I was while I wore a mask “happy face” and found some success in life while facing some of my fears. The second stage during which my Life was tested when faced with chaos and an immovable object (my wife) where I ended up wounded and looking like the bad guy at the end. Now I am in the third act where I have been stripped down to nothing, beaten and broken. I will not lay down and die, I will rebuild myself and rise stronger than I have ever been.

I still get quotes from “Abraham hicks” in my email everyday although I don’t always read them anymore. The reason I stopped reading them is that It became repetitive and I wasn’t making any progress. I knew and know the theory behind it all as I studied so much material for years learning the ideas and the methods that were taught. The whole time I was missing the one things that I needed more than anything and that was actual practice. I have always been a hands on learner even though I can remember theory pretty well. I have to do something before It sinks in so I will remember it and I overlooked the power in taking baby steps.

Today the quote  “Words do not teach at all. It is life experience that brings you your knowing. But when you hear words that are a vibrational match to the knowing that you have accumulated, then sometimes it’s easier for you to sort it all out.
Excerpted from Chicago, IL on 11/2/97 ”

This sunk in today as I have finally begun to recognize the teachings in the experiences that I have been having. I have spent so much time in my own head that I have missed out on the life experiences which I learn from “Too Much Mind”. Another movie quote, I think this is from “The Last Samurai” “Too Much Mind” – “No Mind”. Meaning stop trying to figure out how to live and “Just Do It” (recognize that slogan?)  Fear of failure Might have  a lot to do with this in my case. If I don’t really apply myself then I never really fail.

The statement ” Fear of Failure” has come up a few times in the past weeks  from different sources which tells me there might be something for me to consider there. Deep down am I afraid to fail?  Could that be why I rush all the time? so I have an excuse if something isn’t very good.  For instance : If I do a project really fast and it turns out shitty, I can always just say that I did it really fast and that’s why it sucks.

When I was working as a collision repair tech I was really fast in the beginning until I screwed up a couple times and got caught on some more complex jobs. After that I slowed right down and Became so anal and detailed that I ended up working all of the big jobs and luxury cars rarely ever doing anything subpar although I found it frustrating and exhausting. My employers only complaint in the last five years or so of my time in the trade was that I was too slow, only producing 100-120 hours of work every 2 weeks, oh and that I was sick at least once a month. They never complained about the fact that my work never came back to get redone or that I had the least amount of problems during the repair process because I took my time and was thorough. I remember this being extremely frustrating for me and I wonder if it was because of my own fear of failure.

What is the logic behind  a fear of failure? I suppose it comes from a belief that I expect to fail and that failure is a bad thing. A fear of failure then shows a lack of belief in my-self that I can succeed which will only be reinforced by each failure which is expected more and more. Do I see myself as a failure?      I have failed at everything in my life so far and I don’t really feel like a success.  I do expect to lose and I am rewarded more often than not by losing. That is a sobering thought, A reality check.

Whenever I get my hopes up and do expect to win, the ensuing loss hurts so much more than if I don’t even try in the first place. So why try and succeed?  WOW  I have a defeatist mentality and I didn’t even realize it until now.

Day 53, JP 29, Reality Check.

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[[[[ Here I stand, on the precipice overlooking infinity. Standing on The fringes of old beliefs Wondering whether I’ll Fly or fall when I move forward. I Imagine That I will Float like a leaf on the wind. All That is left is to let go of my past and allow the wind to take me. It’s up to me to untie the safety line.

I currently have one foot in the past and another moving towards my future. How I feel is my indication of where I will step. If I’m to trust myself I must be trustworthy. Events are in motion already shaping my future. Trust myself to know what to do when the time comes. honesty with myself breeds unwavering trust.

There is nothing to fix. The cure for uncertainty is to live in the moment.]]]]

I can say this” Leaves don’t fly too well when they are carrying baggage” and I had a lot of emotional baggage that I was holding onto. The term “reality check” comes to my mind because I find that the best way to judge where I am at is to take a no bullshit look at my life and call it like I see it. Then I let it sink in and find a way to accept the reality of my situation because it is a very good indicator of my vibration. In order to make lasting change I must alter my vibration and to do that I have to know where I am at and get right down and dirty with it. Only then can I make meaningful changes by moving one step at a time, finding relief after relief after relief. Day after day making a consistent effort to find thoughts that feel a little bit better than yesterday.

Trust is a big thing for me and I imagine for everyone. I cannot have a meaningful relationship with anyone including Myself without trust and a good indicator that I don’t trust myself is if I don’t trust anyone else either. I found an idea that has helped me move mountains in regards to trust, ” I trust that each person will do what they feel is right”. So far that trust has not been broken nor do I expect it ever to be. I removed the burden of anyone having to live up to my expectations for them and simply allow them to do what they feel is right. This makes me a very trustworthy person and in return I hold the trust of many people because I never judge anyone for their choices as that would be tantamount to judging myself for doing what “seemed like a good idea at the time”.

The Big boss at work is in town for a few days and tomorrow is our big managers meeting, today I spent a few hours with him talking about our park. We talked about how things have changed and might evolve going forward. He applauded my personal growth over the last year from someone who wanted nothing to do with being anyone else’s boss or even dealing with people at all. To the man I am today who has taken ownership of my role , flaws, weaknesses and has made significant noticeable progress is Strengthening those aspects of myself. Being able to recognize and accept my weaknesses has become a strength.

He Has been quite impressed by the impact that my return to work has had on the all of the staff from management all the way to the once a week employees. We discussed some of the things that he had noticed are quite different from his last visit 3-4 weeks ago. The most notable being the overall cleanliness and organization throughout the park, even in the deep dark areas. I could say it was all hard work and making sure staff were actually doing their jobs but I feel like It has been the result of me cleaning out my own deep dark places by letting the light in and then allowing my vibration to do the work. It was really nice to hear that my self-improvements have made a very real impact on my surroundings and only provides more proof that this really works.

My Boss and I agree on quite a few things and we also disagree on quite a few things which is fine and good because we both know how to “agree to disagree”. I call him on his bullshit and he calls me on mine which can be frustrating at times but has a silver lining. That silver lining is that we keep each other from going too far off the rails as we can each learn from the other.  I Trust him to do what he thinks is best and he has come to trust my judgement as well. We both accept that mistakes will be made and that effort to learn from them will also be made.

Some of the stuff I write down blows my mind and I wonder if I felt the same way when I first wrote it. “The cure for uncertainty is to live in the moment” Anxiety could be substituted for uncertainty and its still so good. Living in the moment can be achieved through regular reality checks.

Day 52, JP 28, Light and Shadow

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[[[[ I Was blind and now I can See. I Can See Clearly now that I have moved my hands from my own eyes. I am good enough as I am. I am worthy of my own love as I am. There is nothing that I need to do, be or have in order to be good enough. I am good enough as I am. I am worthy of my own love.

The Fog of anger has lifted and I Can now see the path I have Weaved in my life. Now I get to start a new path With Clear skies.

In The presence of a great light all others Will See dark shadows. If the light is dimmed the shadows appear to fade but still Remain unseen without the light.]]]]

Looking back to when I wrote this with my current perspective I can say that this was wishful thinking as I was reaching too far for it to stick. I had removed myself from all of the things that had caused me grief which provided a false sense of security and righteousness. The reason I say it this way is that my situation was not sustainable as I was simply hiding from all of my issues. This period of time where I was responsibility free was a blessing because it allowed me to relax for a time and regroup.

The fog of anger had receded along with the circumstances that were reminding me of how angry I really was. I was following the path that felt best to me at the time which would be the path of least resistance. I am still to this day not sure if it was the best path to take but I feel like it was the path I had to take. I took a leap of faith and for a period of about 2 1/2 months I was a leaf floating in the wind, both exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. This time between when I walked out of the door with a backpack and $60 leaving  my wife and the life we had created together was the result of doing what felt good at that time.

I chose to walk an unknown path instead of continuing on a path that I could feel was killing me on the inside. I don’t think it was that I knew I was heading in the right direction, I knew which way I could no longer go and that was to continue down the path that my wife/life was heading. This meant breaking promises and leaving the best part of me behind ( My Dog “Leeroy Brown” The baddest damn dog in the whole damn town). My Dog exemplified everything I wanted to be and the moment I realized that I had to leave him behind was the most difficult thing I have ever faced. It felt like my soul and my heart were tearing each other apart, It hurt unlike anything I can ever remember feeling before or since.

I learned from my Mom that you never make a promise you can’t keep, Well I didn’t learn it well enough I guess. These days the only promise I will make to anyone is this” I promise that I will do whatever feels best to me at the time” Anything more than that and I will fail to honor it eventually.

In the presence of a great light there will be shadows only if there are walls to block the light. When I walk into a room filled with people while feeling good (bright Light), Those who feel worse than me(Walls) have a choice to make. That choice is to either join me in feeling good(allow the light to penetrate), try to bring me down to their level(Cast Big shadows) or leave. If I walk into a room and there is someone who is shining brighter than I am, I have to make the choice whether to cast a shadow or allow their light to shine through. It is very rare that I will choose to leave unless everyone in the room is basking in the shadows and I don’t care to be the center of their attention.

Along with my increasingly bright light I have learned to cloak it so as not to draw too much attention until I am ready for the spotlight. This means keeping my mouth shut a lot and allowing people to have their opinions and drama while I study it all in an effort to expand my own consciousness. The deeper I delve into my own beliefs and ideals, the more I am aware of the flaws in the beliefs of the people I interact with. I want to help other people find peace and joy and until recently I thought I could push or pull them towards those things. The truth is this, all I can do without creating resistance is to shine as bright as I can and provide the choice to join me or not.

I find it challenging to be able to see so clearly how to guide other people and not be able to see how best to guide myself. I am aware that most of the advice I have to share with people is advice for myself as the person who is pointing the finger is the person who has the issue.

I am a forever student and the moment I feel that I am more than that I become resistant.

Day 51, JP 27, Worth

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[[[[ Vibrations rise in my center Brought on by my deep Rythmic Breathing and The still waters of my mind.       Vibrations spread Through my body like The tide rising on the beaches of the world.            Vibrations fill my body from head to toe as if every molecule that is me is being gently massaged to well-being.   Vibration I am.

I Feel like The essence of unconditional love.

my breathing is deep like the ocean, my emotions flow like the Rivers. my desires Refresh like the Rains. my body is strong like the mountains. my mind is rich like the forests. my wonder is matched only by the stars. my expansion is on par with the universe. my World is the mirror of my soul. How spectacular it is.

I am good enough the way I am.]]]]

The first poem is an expression of the peaceful fuzziness that encompasses me when I meditate and successfully quiet my mind. It is an expression of the loving energy that flows through me when my ego gets out of the way.

I think the second one speaks for itself. “I am good enough” is making peace with who I am and accepting myself.

Today I forgot my cane at work on my way out the door which I think is a good indicator that I don’t need it anymore. I Have a lurch to the way I walk as my knee and hip haven’t realigned just yet and my ankle is still a bit limited in flexibility. Even so, I am walking unassisted except going down stairs, I need a railing or wall to lean on for going down stairs. This is pretty exciting for me because I have been walking and using transit for the  past couple years which kind of means my freedom is returning to me. I just have to remember to take it slow so I don’t re-injure my foot. The slow progress is nice because everyday I have a reason to be grateful for my improvement.

I am a bit anxious about my bosses boss being in town for a few days starting tomorrow. The plan is for him to teach us (the assistant managers) how to push the staff to push the customers to buy our passes. The passes themselves are a really good deal and hold the potential for our customers to take advantage of them and benefit in a huge way. My issue is with the pushing or pulling the customers and/or staff. Since I have been back at work the percentage of pass sales has gone up and it may or may not have anything to do with me, I cannot say for certain.

My approach has been to make sure that the cashiers are offering the passes to each customer and encouraging them to do it in a way that they feel good about. Each one of the cashiers has developed a slightly different approach to this and it feels natural to them because they have chosen the method of delivery that suits them. As it stands the cashiers offer each customer the deal and if they decide that its not for them we can sell them an individual ticket for the day.

My boss does not want the cashiers or me to accept when the customer says “no thank you” and wants us to push the deal harder, I have issue with this tactic. If the customer bows to the pressure and buys the pass their experience at our park is already tainted by bullying and if they don’t give in, at what point do we stop pushing? The moment I am pushed or pulled in a direction not of my choosing I will resist and resent the force that is doing the pushing or pulling. Imagine trying to pull a dog for a walk it has no interest in participating in, this results in dragging the dog or carrying it neither of which is much fun( I know)

My concern is that when I am pushed to do something that I don’t feel good about I will resist for certain and I will not push my staff to do something that I wont do myself.  either I will be able to talk some sense into my boss or he might decide that I am no longer a good fit for his methods. this will be interesting as I am still on “light duties” due to my injury. I get the feeling he is already a bit bothered by the fact that I corrected his payroll mistake regarding statutory holidays as he was using payroll rules from another province which makes amusement facilities exempt from having to pay time and a half. This has been going on for months now and has to be back-payed. He also has decided to include assistant managers in the exemption that applies to managers which seems a bit shady in my opinion.

I suppose a lot of people (myself included) do things that are distasteful as long as it can be justified somehow. This Idea that the end justifies the means is just another lie that ends with disappointment when you realize who you have become while chasing the sunrise. When success becomes worth any price and you sell yourself to pay it , you become worthless and the success at the end is never enough to make up for what was lost along the way.

This is what it means to sell your soul to the devil. Bit by bit each day doing things that feel dirty in the pursuit of wealth/power/fame whatever the goal is. Then when you achieve the goal there is nothing left of who you were to enjoy it except an empty space where your soul used to be. This is the result of the faulty idea that says “This thing is worth more than who I am” or “I need this thing to prove my worth” both of which come from the idea “I am not worthy”. The secret is , we are all worthy.

You will never hear someone that feels worthy say someone else is not worthy. It is only the people who feel worthless who can see you as worthless and these people are the ones who value treasures above all else for the false sense of value it gives them. The same principle as a drug addict who need his fix to feel good, the Big shot need his wealth to feel good.  Feeling worthless is a horrible feeling that has become commonplace is today’s materialistic society as we all reach for something to fill the void and make us whole. Everyone is worthy of happiness and it doesn’t have to come at someone else’s expense like we have been trained to believe.   Look for the worth in people and you will find your own worth in the process, I was talking to myself there 🙂