Life is looking pretty good right now. I was at Physiotherapy in the pool today when my Physiotherapist told me that I am making the smoothest recovery from a Broken foot that she has seen.I am making progress through baby steps in the area of self improvement on a daily basis. I have more money available to me in my bank account than I have had in over two years. I like where I live , how I live and who I live with. Each day I am learning more about who I really am and how to face my problems when they appear before me and turn them into stepping stones. I even like my job, the reason being that I can see it as the tool it is for helping me iron out my personal flaws. I feel like a block of clay that is finally being sculpted instead of having more clay added to it.
The best part is that I don’t have that feeling of waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under me. I have this feeling of anticipation for what’s next and the confidence that I can handle whatever it is. I am finally spending more time in the moment being alive and present while looking towards the future with hope. I am proud of myself for having the courage to give myself advice and to listen to it. I am amazed that I had the balls to put my journal on the internet and I haven’t left anything out even when there were times I wanted to and will want to.
I play less than two hours of video games a week and when I do its a card game(Magic), even four months ago I would not have thought that statement possible and when I told my ex-wife that I don’t have the desire to play video games anymore she had to pick her jaw up off the floor. She can still remember the sound of my chair rolling across the floor as I set up for my nightly gaming sessions . Gaming was my escape from my life and I tried to spend as much time as I could plugged in, which only made my days harder to deal with as I was always tired from only getting a few hours sleep each night. Basically gaming was my addiction as I never felt good unless I was plugged in.
My life feels more organic or natural than I can ever remember it feeling before. I don’t feel like I have to force anything or be anything special. I might look back at this in a few years and laugh but for now I feel like I am finally going with my flow.
In a couple of days I will be 36 years old. I am a balding and a bit overweight, Half of my clothes have holes in them. I don’t own a house or vehicle, I don’t have any investments beyond a TV and some “magic” cards. I am bankrupt and divorced, I work for peanuts(I am allergic to peanuts btw). I have never been happier than I am now and I spend the majority of my day at peace or smiling/laughing, I have never felt richer or more free in my life. I just want more of what I have been having 🙂
Oh and my Roommates dog keeps my feet warm while I type out my blog.