Day 47, Slow and steady

I awoke this morning with one heck of a hangover as the result of lots of beer, candy and cupcakes. The act of consuming all of those substances was a lot of fun as the buzz steadily increased throughout the night and I had a lot of fun the entire time. In a way I was simply spending today’s happiness in advance to amplify my evening. The result has been a sensation that my head is too small for my brain and my motor reflexes were on strike as I almost tripped a couple times while walking. As I am writing this I am feeling much better as I have rehydrated and took a nap this afternoon, The footlong sub and teen burger didn’t hurt either.

I did have the pleasure of my water physiotherapy first thing this morning which helped distract me from the side effects I was feeling. The exercise helped me to focus my mind and get my juices flowing again. I was sure not to spend too much time in the hot tub after physio because I could tell I was already a bit dehydrated.

Talking to my physiotherapist was also quite soothing as we discussed the power of the mind and how important it is to be consistent in anything that I want to see progress in. We talked about how progress is better achieved through lots of small steps each day as in her field going for big change quickly usually leads to re-injury. She witnesses on a daily basis the benefits of slow and steady progress in her various patients and can tell from my own progress that I do the exercise’s I am supposed to be doing on a regular basis.

We talked a bit about some of her experiences with people who have had strokes and the challenges associated with recovery. It takes focus and daily routine by the patient to achieve recovery although there is more to it. The patient needs support and encouragement from family and friends to stay on track and perhaps most important, the patient has to Believe that recovery is possible because without belief all of the other pieces lose their value.

I am very grateful to my physiotherapist as I have found our conversations to be enlightening and her sadistic tendencies to be beneficial to my recovery. She appears to get a lot of joy from watching me suffer through the exercises as I don’t think she sees it as suffering but as progress instead. She is teaching me to see the value in the process despite the discomfort that comes with stretching my own limitations whether mental, spiritual or physical.

Stretching and strengthening my ankle has been painful only when I push too far or too hard which is the indicator to ease up a bit. I have noticed that stretching a relaxed muscle can feel quite good whereas stretching a rigid muscle can be quite painful. There is a crossover here as stretching a relaxed belief also feels good but trying to stretch a rigid belief can be quite painful.

I know that my broken ankle is the physical manifestation of the vibration that I held at the time. I am wondering if it represents a crack in my own personal foundation that has brought me down. I am wondering how specifically the physical matches the mental or spiritual idea that brought it on and have I already found relief from the dis-ease that I was holding onto then. I can say for certain that I have found relief from several resistant or rigid beliefs over the past couple months through my blog process and the physical recovery process.

One day at a time I am being reminded that I am flexible both in mind and body. I have been debunking the idea that fast progression is better or even possible to maintain as I can see the evidence in my own life to the contrary. I am fast becoming a believer in “slow and steady wins the race” because the evidence continues to build as I look for relief in all aspects of my life.

Getting drunk last night is an example of me taking the fast lane to feeling great and today I get to see the truth of how well it worked out. I am seeing this pattern everywhere I look now, The shortcuts and quick fixes that are provided and sold everywhere are really selling a beautiful lie. The lie is the idea that says “This will make me feel better”. When the first thing wears off and I feel worse than I did in the first place they offer another shortcut that deals with these symptoms “________ offers fast and effective relief from __________” The lie then perpetuates itself and I believe it because I am telling it to myself. I was first exposed to this line of thinking when I became a no-smoker, I had been brainwashed to believe something that was not good for me and I defended the idea because I thought it was mine.

At some point in my life I accepted a flawed idea as truth and that truth has corrupted everything built upon it just as a cracked foundation will not support a house or a broken foot will not support a body. What is it?, this idea that betrays me.

I haven’t stopped thinking about the movie inception for the last five to ten minutes. Perhaps I will find a clue hidden within the movie as it deals with planting an idea at the core of a persons identity. An idea that will shape who that person will become and how they will interact with the world.

I am at the cusp of what feels like a major personal revelation and part of me wants to figure it out right now, I think that is the part that does not serve me. All actual evidence points to relief and patience being the only reliable path to take. I will figure it out when I am ready for the answer and until then I have a movie to watch.

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