Day 45, JP 24

page 24

[[[[The condition of my hands may have more to do with the snacks I eat than  I previously thought.  Whatever I put in my body becomes part of my body. I can tell by how I feel if I pay attention. The more natural the food, the better I feel. anything that impedes my breathing is impeding my energy flow. It feels better to eat some real food than to eat snacks. Nothing is more important than that I feel good. I Want to allow energy to flow in as well as out. I Want to be a cooperative component in my own life.]]]]]

Since I was a child I have had a skin condition called eczema, It results in patches of red, dry irritated skin. Sometimes I will have no signs of it, all the way to patches on my face, legs, arms and hands. The intensity can vary from a light red irritated patch to full on cracked and bleeding patches that usually occur at the extremities( hands or feet, usually hands). There are a lot of factors that effect the intensity of the condition from humidity, hot showers(frequency) diet, environment (work dust, gloves etc.) and how self conscious I am. I am a red-head or ginger and have unbelievably sensitive skin and not just to outside forces. In the summer I make a conscious effort to avoid the sun as I will burn in 15 minutes or less sometimes. This sensitivity is not just in my skin as I tend to feel things very deeply and can easily(too easily most of the time) empathize with other people. This “gift” makes it easier for me to stand in someone else’s shoes and offer them a different perspective which can be beneficial as long as I can re-center myself.

This sensitivity also applies to foods that I eat although I am not very practiced in this regard. As time goes on I pay more attention to what I put in my body and how I feel when I eat specific things. This has been helping me to make wiser choices which is helping my skin and moods stay a little more balanced. This is going to be a lifelong process that I am ok with because each time I discover something new feels like a personal victory.

Breath is life and I have spent the better part of the last fifteen years smoking one substance or another for various reasons. I started smoking cigarettes to find out why my Birth-dad smoked himself to death and ended up hooked for many years. I consider that mission accomplished as I learned why he smoked so long and then I was able to break the cycle. I smoked pot off and on for the past fifteen years either because I thought it made life better or simply acted as a painkiller. Today I am at least four – five weeks( I haven’t been counting) without smoking anything other than second hand vape smoke which I have been trying to avoid. I am still clearing my lungs which may just be the vape smoke or it might be long lost tar residue but I am breathing deeper and easier than I can remember In a very long time. It feels good to breath deep and feel the energy travel through my body. I think I have finally been able to place clear lungs as more important than getting high, only time will tell for sure although I can say that I do feel differently about pot than I did before.

Breath is life, Life is energy, energy is breath and I want to be a cooperative component of that cycle because it feels good. I want to cooperate with my own well-being and Flow. I am becoming more practiced at going with the Flow each and every day.

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