[[[[ I blocked out passion and Wanting because it hurt too much to Want what I didn’t believe I could have. Instead of removing the trees from the Road I started to drive really slow. I have learned how to move the trees and now I Want to go faster. I Think I’m gonna start picking up speed at a good pace. I know what I Want now. I Want the feeling. I Want to feel hope, Abundance, Love, Joy and passion. the only thing I have found to elicit the emotion of passion is how much I Want to feel passion. I have found the essence of what I Want. Now that I Know what my emotions are telling me I have nothing to fear from strong emotions. I get to find out What passion looks like for me. It’s almost time to move on again. Thank you for Inspiring me. My time here was amazing. Thank you ….]]]]
Journal pages 4-20 were all written while staying at my father in law’s house under construction and my time there was almost up at this point.
The road and trees is an analogy similar to the stream or river I talked about before. the trees represent resistance along my path, When they appear I can either slow down to avoid them or remove them and keep racing along. I had trained myself to slow down and navigate the trees which doesn’t allow for much energy to flow. The feeling of hope that I was having came along with having fewer trees and being able to see some light in my future.
I had begun to remove my self-imposed limitations and was starting to feel life flowing in my veins again. I had found the feeling of hope and it was/is intoxicating. By literally removing all of my physical possessions and ties I was able to get to my root emotions for the first time in a long time. Truth be told I hadn’t actually changed my vibration yet , I had changed my environment which would soon return to match my vibration. I may not have removed all of my resistance but I had given myself some breathing room to relax for a bit and get a taste of hope.
Hope means everything, to me, without hope everything looks bleak and desolate and I feel despair. I was learning how to find hope even in the face of despair and I used one specific tool quite often to do that. Pivoting is a tool that I first learned from “Abraham Hicks” (lots of good material there). The practice of pivoting goes like this: I know what I don’t want (because I am experiencing it now), What do I want? this one technique causes my focus to shift from the unwanted to the wanted and breeds hope. I have been using this tool for many years now and often don’t even realize I am making use of it as it has become a habit for me.
Pivoting wont change the circumstances that I find myself in, it does shift my emotional gear to something that feels better. Finding even a little bit of relief can open the door to ideas that were previously unavailable because I can only access thoughts within the range of what I am feeling. I think happy thoughts when happy and sad thoughts when sad and with pivoting I can shift from sad to happy one thought at a time. The real trick is to reach only for thoughts within range meaning baby steps. If I over reach its quite likely that the idea will seem out of reach and doubt will creep back in which will foster more doubtful thoughts.
I have found the most success when pivoting my emotions instead of my circumstances as my emotions will determine my thoughts and ideas which will affect my circumstances.