The above page reads:
[[[my fear of disappointment and hurt is what creates those experiences. History doesn’t have to repeat itself. I am not the same person That I was when I was hurt. I Know that the fear comes from an old belief. The hurt comes from an old belief. My future will be different than my past because I am different. I want to feel passion again. I cannot feel passion and guard my heart at the same time. I have to choose. My Guard Was put up to protect my feelings. Now it restricts my feelings. The old rules meant to protect have become shackles (Commissioner Gordon from the movie “The Dark Night Rises” said something similar to this and it struck home.)I want to live with passion. no fear, just do it. What is there to be afraid of? ]]]
Some of this is in reference to the previous journal page and there will be some repetition throughout this process, of that I have no doubt. History does not have to repeat itself but it will if I am sending the same signal. I was right that I am not the same person as I was as even now I am not the same person that wrote this originally. The idea that I am talking about here is that the law of attraction will bring to me anything that matches my vibration/signal/frequency ( pick your favorite term) . This means that even if I age 10 years my signal may not have changed thus bringing similar circumstances around again and again forming these patterns that I have experienced. This is a good thing because it means that I did not alter my vibration as I had thought and can take steps to do that now.
I am capable of one thing at a time which means that I cannot be open minded and have my guard up simultaneously. Imagine trying to hug someone while keeping them at a safe distance, it doesn’t work so well. I have to take the chance that I could get hurt in order to have that hug which is when I would ask myself ” Is the juice worth the squeeze?”
My attitude around fear has shifted since I originally wrote this journal page. I do want fear in my life because fear is a tool for me to use that helps me identify things I don’t want to experience in my reality. When I am able to shift myself from a feeling of fear to hope it brings with it a great sense of personal satisfaction and makes me feel alive. Now that I am aware of how useful of a tool fear is to me ( as well as it can be very exciting) I enjoy the sensation of it from time to time. Have you ever had to turn on all the lights in your home after watching a movie that scared you a bit? That is the perfect time to practice shifting your thoughts.